Christmas in September came with the Friends of the Library Book Sale two weeks ago. I bought quite a few books that I’ve already read, but never owned, and a few that just looked interesting. I judge books by their covers.
If you are my Facebook friend or Twitter follower (sorry if you are), you are at least somewhat aware that I have been struggling when it comes to school this semester. There’s no question, and never has been, that I don’t want to be at Texas Tech. It’s a great school, but I have never in my life wanted to be there, and still don’t. That’s why I’m taking only one class this semester. TTU is a place of limbo.
Tech is too big. Too impersonal. There’s a sea of people who don’t give a crap about if they run you over on their bike/longboard/car. They smoke walking to class, leaving you to walk through a cloud of smoke. I hate smokers. Take your lung cancer elsewhere, please. It takes me 30 minutes to walk from where I park to my class, and back again after an hour of lecture.
Now, I love my class. When it comes to Public Relations, I know it IS something I would like to pursue as a possible future. Still, I have no desire to spend time in school. I’d rather work, stop living in limbo like I am. College is supposed to be the best years of your life, and I wouldn’t consider them that at all. Sure I had good times in Abilene, but enough to go back? I don’t know. At this point, I’m unsure if I will find a school to go to next fall. Where will I go?
I haven’t planned for next semester. My plan is the DCP. If that doesn’t work out, then I’m taking a semester off. It’s too much pressure to find something this short notice. In the meantime, I’ve been researching other universities with PR as a major (which is actually less than I thought), that aren’t GIANT schools. I found the University of Tampa, which I have shown some interest in. Just putting a foot in the door. There won’t be any trouble deciding I’m not interested later on.
All I really want is to be married. I want to find a boy, fall in love, and get married. I do want to have the option of working. But if I could find something I like doing, either full time or part time, and not have to worry about having a degree, and just do it because I like it, not because I HAVE to, that would be awesome. I’m not lazy. Not really. I want to have a job. I like having two jobs right now. I just want to get on with the next part of life.
And that’s a whole other RANT that I won’t even get into without sounding thirsty and needy and whiney.
I was trying to post this as a Facebook status, but it got too wordy, so I decided I would just blog it, and post the link. Easier.
Tuesday, October 1st, is the beginning of ShayTober. Like the 5 Week Challenge early in the summer, ShayCarl, along with other YouTubers, is going to be doing a month of motivation and fitness. I’m so excited for this, because I’ve been in a slump the past few weeks when it comes to working out and health in general. I’ve needed motivation, and I haven’t made it a priority. ShayTober is coming at such a perfect time for me to re-evaluate my goals.
Like the 5 Week Challenge, I hope to post frequent videos marking my struggles and my progress. On the 1st, I will post an “intro” video, full of goals, as well as what I expect of myself on a day-to-day basis.
I encourage my Facebook friends to join me. Even if you don’t have anything to do with the YouTube part, I would love to have someone to encourage, and be encouraged by. If I learned anything from the 5 Week Challenge (from here on out I will refer to it as 5WC), it was that having a community of people on the same journey is probably the most important asset you can have. I’ve met some really amazing people from around the country, and around the world, who all share a common goal. We may get there different ways, but we’ll get there if we stick to it. So I want to be a source of encouragement to my Lubbock friends, Abilene friends, YouTube friends, whatever.
Let’s get back on track in October!!
I’m at the point where I need to cry.
I have a lot of things to say. Bear with me.
First off: Tumblr. I don’t understand Tumblr. At least I don’t understand how to use it. I GET the people of Tumblr, but the whole process of posting and reblogging things and the layout of your page just confuses the crap out of me. I have attempted Tumbling probably 5 separate times, and each time I leave frustrated. I’ll stick with Pinterest for my funny photos, and Blogger for my thoughts, and FanFiction.net for fanfics. Tumblr is my go-to place for gif reactions, but I don’t actually post much on it.
There is my Tumblr rant. I feel like an old person who doesn’t get how to text. But whatever. I can be a fangirl of things without Tumblr.
Second: YouTube. I really want to do better with my YouTube channels. Since I am going to school only part-time, I would like to increase my content on YouTube, just by better planning of my videos. And not saying “aaaaand” or “so yeah” after every thought. Practice makes perfect.
Third and most important: I have a phone interview for the DCP. Um, HOLY CRAP. I don’t even have anything to say about this other than that. Even though it’s the BIGGEST thing to happen in my life, I still can’t really believe it. I’m still in shock that I made it farther than when I last applied. My interview is Monday afternoon, and I need to be looking at interview questions and think about how I would answer them.
This is so important to me, maybe more important than anything has ever been. But, if I don’t make it, I will try again next semester. I have great hope that I will make it, because once they hear my passion over the phone, I can’t imagine not working out. But I’m not nervous. I don’t think I should be. It’s a big deal, yes, but all I can do is be honest and think about my answers. There’s nothing much more I can do, so worrying won’t do any good. If anything, I’m extremely excited to talk on the phone with someone, because I will actually get to explain how Disney makes me feel, as well as why I BELONG in the DCP.
So, if you think about me on Monday, send me some positive thoughts. 🙂
I haven’t written in two weeks. Why? Lots of reasons. Mainly emotional ones. Yes, I went back to old times at the start of school. But I’m getting better because of quick decision-making.