With every check of my dashboard and email, my heart hurts more and more. From being accepted or not. Either way it’s because it still says “in progress”.
But with each acceptance, I’m more and more excited.
With each rejection, I remember that this is real. I know just how badly I want this–how badly I NEED this.
Thinking about it, my hands are shaking. I want to cry. Just because of nerves. Of not being in control and not knowing.
No matter what happens, I’ll cry the same amount.
I might cry tonight. I just want to be there. I need to be there.
I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me…