In Limbo

If you are my Facebook friend or Twitter follower (sorry if you are), you are at least somewhat aware that I have been struggling when it comes to school this semester.  There’s no question, and never has been, that I don’t want to be at Texas Tech. It’s a great school, but I have never in my life wanted to be there, and still don’t. That’s why I’m taking only one class this semester.  TTU is a place of limbo.

Tech is too big. Too impersonal. There’s a sea of people who don’t give a crap about if they run you over on their bike/longboard/car. They smoke walking to class, leaving you to walk through a cloud of smoke. I hate smokers. Take your lung cancer elsewhere, please. It takes me 30 minutes to walk from where I park to my class, and back again after an hour of lecture.

Now, I love my class. When it comes to Public Relations, I know it IS something I would like to pursue as a possible future. Still, I have no desire to spend time in school. I’d rather work, stop living in limbo like I am. College is supposed to be the best years of your life, and I wouldn’t consider them that at all. Sure I had good times in Abilene, but enough to go back? I don’t know. At this point, I’m unsure if I will find a school to go to next fall. Where will I go?

I haven’t planned for next semester. My plan is the DCP. If that doesn’t work out, then I’m taking a semester off. It’s too much pressure to find something this short notice. In the meantime, I’ve been researching other universities with PR as a major (which is actually less than I thought), that aren’t GIANT schools. I found the University of Tampa, which I have shown some interest in. Just putting a foot in the door. There won’t be any trouble deciding I’m not interested later on.

All I really want is to be married. I want to find a boy, fall in love, and get married. I do want to have the option of working. But if I could find something I like doing, either full time or part time, and not have to worry about having a degree, and just do it because I like it, not because I HAVE to, that would be awesome. I’m not lazy. Not really. I want to have a job. I like having two jobs right now. I just want to get on with the next part of life.

And that’s a whole other RANT that I won’t even get into without sounding thirsty and needy and whiney.


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