How many times does a person have to start and stop again? I don’t know, but at least I’m not the only one. If nothing else, I’d rather start and stop and start again than quit forever. While I was catching up on my YouTube subscriptions on Tuesday, I realized that ShayCarl and HiImRawn were starting up a new DietBet challenge and beginning to train for a marathon. It was, again, perfect timing for me to also start again with weight loss. This video was great to remind me that it’s okay to begin again.
No matter how well I do, no matter how much weight I lose, I always seem to gain back to the same place. I forever fluctuate between 212-215 when I gain it back. All I want is to be under 200 pounds. Obviously, I don’t want it ENOUGH or I would buckle down and be there. But it all has to do with priorities. Because of my work schedule, my priorities have been eating whatever food I can whenever I can. If I can eat it in a 15 minute break without much effort, it goes in my body. Whatever is quick to eat when I get home or before I leave, I’ll eat it. And no matter how much walking I do in the parks and at work, it’s not going to change the fact that I’m eating like shit. And one apple here and there doesn’t make enough of a difference.
I haven’t gone running, and that’s going to hurt me. The excuse is that I’m embarrassed. I’m embarrassed to leave and have to explain to my roommates what I’m doing, I’m embarrassed to be seen huffing and puffing, and I’m embarrassed passing/being passed by others walking and running along the same pathway. I’m also so used to running at night, but I’m afraid to here. The area I live in is nice, but I also feel like it would be perfect to target girls by themselves if someone were to want to snatch someone up. Someone could snatch me up anywhere, so why am I afraid of it here when every apartment complex has security guards that I could run up to? (Oh yeah, because the security guards would probably do nothing and there’s that one who’s super creepy) I don’t know. It’s a stupid excuse that doesn’t deserve to be an excuse.
I have the Expedition Everest 5k next Saturday. We’ll use that as a slap to the face reminding me to get my running together before Tower of Terror in October. Not only that, but I so badly want to do the Princess Half Marathon in February. Piper and I have to do that together! I have the mindset to WANT to be a runner, but don’t actually have the get-up-and-go to do it. Why is that? Where is my drive?
So I joined the newest Diet Bet, weighing in at 214.8 pounds. I need to lose down to 206.2 in order to win. In a month, this is doable. But is keeping it off?