Awkwardly Meeting Internet Friends

When I first knew I would be coming to the DCP, I went on a follow spree on social media and I now have a lot of friends who I’ve never met. Most of them I’ve never even talked to. If anything, I might have liked a few tweets or statuses but that’s it. I still feel like I know these people, though, and if I see them working I feel the need to approach them and creepily tell them my life story. Each interaction goes something like this:

“Hey! I think we’re friends on Facebook!”
“…Are we?”
“Yeah! I’m Hannah Jackson!”
“Oh. Okay, I think I recognize you!”
“Yeah! Okay…well…I’m gonna go now.”

Sometimes I’m too nervous to talk to them, so instead I stand at an awkward distance and Facebook them later saying, “Hey, so, awkward, but I just saw you working but didn’t want to bother you so I didn’t say hi. But hi.”

It’s usually the cute boys that I can’t go up to them and actually talk. If I did, it would end up something like this:

At the same time, I hate when people message me and say, “I think I see you working all the time!” And I say, “Well why haven’t you ever said hi?!?!” Because there are some people who don’t post pictures of themselves, and their profile picture is a Disney character, so I have no way of recognizing them or I totally would say something. 
So, the moral of the story is, COME UP TO ME AND SAY, “HEY, WE FOLLOW EACH OTHER ON TWITTER. HEY GIRL, HEY.” And I’ll get real excited and it will make my whole day. 
Also, if you take a selfie with me at work and I tell you I expect to see it on Instagram HASHTAG PIRATE LIFE, you’d better hashtag pirate life. Don’t just keep the selfie for yourself. I’ve had TWO guests take pictures with me and I’ve seen nothing. Come on. It’s the least you can do. 
[/end rant]

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