Personal Development Success and Failure

I think there’s something really important in trial and error. It teaches us that having desires alone won’t get us where we want to go; we have to maintain motivation throughout the entire journey if we want to succeed. I don’t believe that leaving a goal incomplete is a bad thing as long as you made an effort in some way.

Did I make thirty-one entries in my journal or on my blog? No, but I brought conscious thought to the idea of writing and keeping myself accountable in other ways. To me, that isn’t failure.

However, I do want to continue the mindset of having short and long-term goals and holding myself accountable to moving to reach them. Pausing, inching forward, and dead sprinting are all acceptable; moving backward is not.

At the beginning of the year I set monthly goals for myself both here and in my bullet journal. That’s a practice I miss. I’d like to continue that through the end of the year as a way of “checking in” on my long-term goals to ensure I’m on the right track. These goals usually range from professional, personal, and financial, and completing even one per month is a success to me. Stay tuned.

Do you have a favorite way of keeping track of goals? Do you use sticky notes on your bathroom mirror, journal about them, or just keep them mentally? I’d love to hear others’ ways of keeping track of their personal development!


February Goals

I’m very happy to announce that in January I completed 8/10 of my planned goals. Not only did I successfully do the 10 I set out to, I also made great progress in creating lasting habits for my health and well-being. It isn’t important which goals I did or did not meet, what matters most is that I was able to achieve more than I thought I would for the month. 

With that being said, I decided on my February goals. I have less on my list this month, and some are the same or slightly different, while some are new. Although I’m doing a lot of focusing on the short-term goals, I haven’t forgotten about the long term; many of my goals I set intentionally to get into the habit of doing it, so I can eventually turn around and utilize them for a longterm plan. An example would be more exercise: someday I want to comfortably complete a full marathon. I can’t do that without consistent running and training (and diet!!) every day. Another would be my writing: four blog posts a month at minimum gives me the practice and experience to someday get paid for writing.  “I want to learn everything I can, and write down everything I see. Golly says if I want to be a writer, I’d better start now…”

  • Publish 4 blog posts
  • Read 4 books
  • Work out 4 days a week
  • Put (and keep) money in savings
  • Continue to clean and de-clutter
  • No soda

I feel good. These may seem like more “to-do” list items, but they mean more than that to me. These goals mean working to become a better person, both physically and mentally. I want to learn, I want to feel stable, I want to feel strong. I’m so ready to be the best I can be. This month I also want to sit down and seriously begin to plan out my long-term life goals, and I’ll be sure to write about it when I know more myself. 

The Bullet Journal

For way too long I’ve struggled with craving organization in my scheduling; although “organized” is the last word I would use to describe myself, I know I need structure. Every year I buy the cutest planner to fit my personality and fill it out with important dates and my work schedule. After that I never look at it again. Occasionally I might remember it exists and cross out months that have already passed and leave it to collect dust again.

I’ve decided my problem with traditional planners is that they aren’t flexible. They’re all the same and don’t  work for me. I have dozens of break slips in my pockets with tasks and to-do’s that have a much more linear aesthetic that I prefer. When I sit down to make life plans in a notebook, it gets listed. For me, boxy calendar views are wasteful in the end. I have at least a dozen notebooks scattered around all containing the same information. I need one main journal to keep track of my plans.


Given my life currently, I don’t have “appointments” or meetings to need to plan in detail.  My work schedule is saved in screenshots in my camera roll so writing them down is useless. My life is tasks and flimsy plans with friends with no time crunch. I need to know what day bills come out and when my dog needs her heart worm medication and when to refill my antidepressant prescription and plan out my running days.

With all of this being realized, I began looking at a lot of posts of bloggers who use bullet journals. It’s been a thought in the back of my mind that I wanted to try the “BuJo” life, but like most people just starting out, I was overwhelmed at the amount of creativity most of the examples had. Still, in my fresh mindset I have decided to jump in.  Maybe it will work for me, maybe it won’t. Still, I want to give it a try. I’m standing by my statement that 2017 is a year of continued growth and logging that in a bullet journal with a more linear task list might just be the way to do it.

In less than 24 hours, I already learned some things I do and do not like and things I want to add or change in the future. I wish my journal was dotted or gridded instead of lined, for one, but I like the size and quality so I’ll survive. Before even starting, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t compare my journal to the Instagram models; I would allow my bullet journal to grow and evolve with me this year. BuJo would be my friend to learn from week to week and month to month.


I think that’s my favorite part about the Bullet Journal model: complete freedom. If I try something one week and hate it, I’m not committed to it. I’m in an open relationship with my planner. As I was coming up with my pre-plan, I didn’t think I wanted a daily log. I started off with the blank spread, trying to decide what would work best for me. Then I realized i could do both: on weeks where I know I have a lot going on, I can do a daily log, and on weeks where I’m not doing much, I don’t need to waste the paper. I love the potential lack of waste that comes with this process. If my Thursday is packed, then I’ll do a Thursday log and skip the other days, lumping all my tasks into my weekly tracker.

Some collections that are unique to me are my long-term goals and tasks with no time constraint, things like cleaning out my iTunes library and running a marathon; I have a collection of dreams such as buying a new mattress and getting married; my favorite personal collection is my list of dates I go on, complete with a rating system and where we met. A few collections I added are inspired by others I saw online. Gift ideas, favorites of the season, bills and habit trackers, along with a few others are all a part of my bullet journal.


Something I plan on gaining from this (besides structure) is strengthening my handwriting. This is a big joke, I know. My handwriting has always been horrendous, but I hope that through. My bullet journal I am able to at least have legible scrawl. In the short time I’ve spent making my first spreads, I’ve found a new acceptance for my lack of artistry and cursive/print hybrid penmanship. I discovered that although it isn’t easy coming up with my own doodles, fonts, or borders, I can copy the basic idea from what I find online and make it fit my needs.


A trend I’ve noticed in the Bullet Journal community is finding a word to motivate or describe the upcoming year. I didn’t think much of it until I kept using the phrase “year of growth” whether it be in my blog, private journal, or even just my thoughts. I mentioned in my last post that “growth” is the word I plan on returning to throughout the year, and I stand by that. Even in the few short weeks of this year I’ve felt a great sense of growth within my self in many ways and I hope to use my new Bullet Journal to continue that feeling.

If you’re curious about how to start or need more inspiration, Modern Mrs. Darcy has some great posts about her own Bullet Journal and her posts include even more links to great resources. Of course there’s the official Bullet Journal website if you want to learn more from the creator himself. For me, I love the flexibility and casualness of this style of planning and I can see myself using it for a very long time.

January Goals

I could very well write about New Year’s Resolutions and how I plan on maintaining long-term goals throughout the entire year. But we all know how resolutions go, and I hate admitting that I’ve failed at something. Instead of writing about the long-term, I’ve decided to break down my goals into smaller, month-sized pieces and share them as the year goes on. Many of my goals may be the same month to month; this makes it less of a resolution and more of a continuing habit.

With all that being said, here are my goals for January

  • Drink more water
  • Run 3 times a week
  • Lose 5 pounds
  • Complete a “75 Push-up Challenge”
  • Complete my half marathon without dying
  • Enjoy my trip to Disneyland without stressing out about money
  • Continue reducing the items I own
  • Crack down on a good skin care routine
  • Publish at least 4 blog posts
  • Read at least 4 books
  • Maintain a private journal
  • Focus on more photography

I tried to make goals that were diverse. Some are health-related while some are personal goals, and some are just good practices to get into. I spent a lot of December thinking on these and making strides to begin my new habits.


Both in this blog and in my personal journal I’ve
mentioned that 2017 is the year of growth, and I plan on returning to that word throughout my year. Everything I do this year is all based around personal growth. Expect that to be a reoccurring word in my posts.

What are your thoughts on forming New Year’s Resolutions? Do you stick with them through the entire year or do they fizzle out? How do you separate a “resolution” and making new habits, or is there a difference at all? I’d love to know your opinion on this, and I hope you join me through this year of blogging.


My Reading Style

I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts recently because music brings out a lot of emotions that I still don’t wish to explore. So podcasts and YouTube videos have been a big portion of my daily background recently. My current favorite podcast is by one of my favorite blog authors, Anne Bogel from Modern Mrs. Darcy. Her podcast “What Should I Read Next?” has added so many books to my tbr list and is making me think a lot more critically about the books I read.
In her podcast she always asks her guests what their reading style is and has them list three books they love, one they hate, and what they’re reading right now. In writing this post, I want to emulate that model and discuss how my reading habits have changed through my life.
My reading style is still very much encouraged by habit, but I’m trying to change my style and that’s what matters. Even as a 22-year old, I still really lean towards reading middle grade books. There’s so much to learn about growing up in these books meant for preteens and there’s such an innocence to them that I love to read. They’re easy escape books and I can breeze through them.
When I was a young teenager, I avoided YA books. I tried a few and the ones I picked were contemporary novels about the lives of high schoolers that I couldn’t relate to. The sex and partying in these books were nothing that I wanted to be involved in and it turned me off for the entire section of books because I hadn’t found the right ones. Because of these few bad experiences, I assumed every piece of YA fiction was the same.
Similarly, I was recommended a book when I was about 12 or 13 from the adult section of the library and was so horrified by the amount of sexual content in an otherwise wonderful book. Of course back in high school and even into college I was quite a prude and was embarrassed by the idea of sex between anyone and wasn’t ready for it to be a part of my library. My severe innocence gave me a lot of trouble in high school when the subject matter in many of the books we read in English class got to be too much. But that’s another story that I would love to delve into later.
When I was a teenager, a big part of my reading habits was finding one author I loved and reading every book they had written until I had completed their entire collection. Authors such as Beverly Lewis and Ted Dekker nearly have entire shelves on their own in my personal library. Once I found an author or topic I loved, I couldn’t focus on any other book until I had tired myself out of my current obsession. This makes sense with my tastes for all kinds of media. I have just enough appreciation for everything that I can become obsessed with a topic for a short period of time and then move onto something else.
To this day I still have a hard time finding contemporary novels I like. I’m  not a fan of chick-lit and hardly ever find some from that genre that I enjoy. Just like anything there are, of course, exceptions, but in general I prefer other types of stories. While I don’t have a problem with sexual content in books anymore, so many stories have it for the sake of writing it. If a detailed sexual encounter serves your story, by all means I’ll enjoy it. If it could be left out or minimized, I’d much rather continue with the plot than sex for the sake of sex. I’ll never pick up 50 Shades of Grey because that kind of story doesn’t serve any purpose in my reading life.
A constant from my younger reading self to now is my fondness for historical fiction. My favorite things to read about are medieval times, piracy, and anything around 1900-1940’s America. Although I’ll read any kind of historical fiction, these are by far my favorite time periods. I went through a Tudor Family phase where I wanted to read every book on King Henry VII. Even before working as a pirate I’ve loved pirate stories both fiction and non-fiction. The early 20th century had so much history from the boom in immigration to two world wars, prohibition, and all new forms of progress, which makes it so diverse and interesting to find books from that time period.
I’ve also always been a fan of the adventure that comes with fantasy, apocalyptic, and thrill books. Anything with a lot of drama and plot twists and excitement is always a great pick for me. Whether it’s dragons or aliens or serial killers, I’m such a believer in a fast-paced adventure.
Something that will never change in my reading style is my ability to devour a book in one sitting. While it doesn’t always happen, when I become completely enthralled in a story, I can’t and won’t put the book down until I’ve read the last page and the sequel (if applicable) is on order. Growing up homeschooled, I had a math book and a library card and spent hours at the library and would leave with stacks I couldn’t see over and would finish them all before the due date. There have been days where I’ve finished more than one book because I was so hungry for the story it provided me.
I’m in that weird age where YA isn’t quite directed at me anymore, but adult fiction doesn’t feel 100% relevant to me yet. This is such a strange age to be, where I can relate to both areas and not feel quite at home in either. Recently I’ve found myself reading a lot of timeless-era books with heavy themes, some thrill and mystery, and slightly supernatural. These ideas flow pretty well between age groups and don’t require the reader to be at any one place in their life to enjoy the journey of the characters.
As I said, I lean a lot towards middle grade books even now. Although I’ve been able to find some really wonderful YA books through the last few years as well. I still feel like I’ve hardly branched out enough into the classics and adult books. For the last few years I’ve attempted to challenge myself in reading a classic every few months or so, just to feel more well-rounded. While I have a lot of adult novels on my shelves, I’m trying to work through them around my beloved YA series that are so popular right now. with this podcast though I’ve discovered a new love for adult fiction and have been able to broaden my reading scope to an entire section of the library I have only skimmed before.
Similarly, I read very little non-fiction. The last few years I’ve also found a few memoirs and positive self-reflection type books that I’ve made my way through as a way of encouraging myself through this whole “growing up” thing. I’m very appreciative of these books that hold truth and experience in them, whether I read them often or not. Some days when I’m feeling discouraged, I’ll pick up a biography or memoir of someone who also struggled at one or many times in their life. Reading is such a wonderful way to remember you’re not alone, and while fictional characters’ struggles can be helpful too, there’s nothing like non-fiction truth to keep that real person’s experience close to your own.
Some of my favorite books will always be the ones I read in my childhood. Those books were the ones that shaped me into the reader and person that I am today. I believe so strongly that books are important no matter what it is you’re reading. If it speaks to you and satisfies the need you have, then it’s a good book, or magazine, or blog. It’s interesting to see how habits change and tastes mature along with the reader. I’m proud of the books I’ve read and excited for the ones I haven’t discovered yet.

What Does it Mean to Be Healthy?

I’ve written a lot of posts about rebooting my health goals. Like, a lot. Like here, here, also here, and you get the picture. It’s not that I just stop caring about my health; it just gets hard. Even when I stop eating what’s good for me or lower my activity level, I’m constantly thinking about how good I felt. But let’s be honest with ourselves: “health” isn’t just diet and exercise.

I’ve done a lot of diets and workouts and weigh-ins and measuring and counting. That’s great if that’s what you want or need. To me, my health is not defined by numbers anymore. It also isn’t just about food. Mental health is just as important as physical health.

What does “healthy” mean to me?

  • not biting my nails
  • keeping a consistent schedule
  • hydration
  • not eating only junk food
  • raising my activity level
  • giving myself love and grace
  • not hitting the snooze button

These don’t sound like the epitome of health, do they? But listen, they’re all steps. Having scrambled eggs and sausage for breakfast is better than ice cream (I may or may not have done that yesterday) and even opting out of my daily soda at lunch is a step to making my body happier. Making a turkey sandwich for work instead of stopping by McDonalds saves calories and money–a two-for-one deal!

I’ve never been a “snoozer.” I don’t know what happened recently (actually I do), but I don’t want to get out of bed when I have to. I reset my alarm for a later time and get ready for work at the last minute. I always feel so much better when I just get up and start my day, plus I get to have time to write before work.

Like I said, my health is not defined by numbers. I don’t need to lose a certain number of pounds or eat a certain amount of calories or run this many miles a week. That puts too much pressure and anxiety on me if I don’t meet those numbers. I see nothing wrong with people who need those numeric goals, it definitely works. But that isn’t the best way to motivate me personally. My Fitbit step goal is really the only number I care about.

I’m so incredibly proud of the race medals I’ve earned. Even though I didn’t do as well as I wanted, running a half marathon or a 5k is a huge achievement for anyone. It’s like the quote that says, “No matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping everyone on the couch.” And that’s what I want for myself. Running is so rewarding to me, and after running (mostly walking) a half marathon last November, I got a little taste of the person I could be. I didn’t train like I had wanted to, and that is my biggest regret as far as my health goes. If I could comfortably run three or four miles, that would mean everything to me to be able to work harder for longer races.


Last night, Enthusiasm asked me how badly I want to meet my goals. It made me think a lot about my past attempts. I won’t call them “failed,” but they were forgotten. Disney costumes are so unflattering, and I’m tired of looking down and seeing my stomach in the pants I wear at work. I know how to dress my body on my own time, but I want to feel better at work. I don’t want to hate myself or feel down about myself for one emotional reason or another. I want pretty fingernails again. I want to be happy and energetic again. Diet, activity, mindset, and consistency are all equal factors to finding peace with myself and my health.

Being healthy, both emotionally and physically, is hard. Creating and keeping healthy habits takes time, but I know just as well as anyone else that it’s so incredibly worth it. So here I am, starting again. I’m picking up where I left off with my health and doing my best to make a better physical and emotional situation for myself.

Less Facebook, More Blogging

As I’ve mentioned a lot recently, I haven’t been myself. Call it depression or a funk, but I haven’t been me for a long time. A lot of factors have contributed to this, but more than anything else it’s been my internal voice that’s caused the most emotional turmoil. Lots of guilt, comparison, and not feeling worthy have played a big part in what’s been wrong. So I’ve been trying to change that.

I’ve made lots of changes physically, emotionally, and environmentally. One of the first things I did when I began to feel clearer was rearrange my room. Just changing the space that I spend so much time in made a big difference to my mental state. I’m trying to run more often to make me feel better physically and mentally. Even making a direct decision to wear makeup and look pretty helps a lot on days when I need that reflection of self-worth. (As a side note, I don’t believe that outward appearances mean shit, but sometimes it helps boost what’s inside. And vice versa.)

Not only have I made the changes in my mind by being more positive and not allowing my negative thoughts to have any presence in my life, I’ve tried to filter out that negativity other places. For me, that means unfollowing a lot of accounts on Twitter and Instagram (I unfollowed over 700 accounts on IG last night until they blocked my access to unfollow for a week). I also deleted a lot of people from my Facebook.

Social Media breeds comparison and resentment of others because of how they present their lives. At least it did for me. I saw how people online present only part of their lives (the good part) and it made me jealous. Because of what I have been going through recently, I wanted to have the happy life my Facebook friends had. Of course, most people have evolved to be smart enough to only post the good, keeping the negative to themselves. Still, I spent a lot of time feeling as though I need validation from all the people I’m friends with on Facebook. I compared my photo or status success with others’ and I felt a lot of pressure because of it.

I don’t feel that kind of pressure from Twitter or Instagram or Tumblr. For one reason or another, Facebook did something different to me. Because of this, I’m reeling back on my usage of the site. You probably still notice me there, but I don’t post much other than links to my blog. I haven’t quite broken the habit of needing to check my feed, but I have broken myself of posting everything, seeking attention for every photo and thought. That’s what my blog is for.

I would very much like a good audience for this platform. That’s my end goal. But I’m not comparing my blog to others that have been writing and growing for years. Everything I would need my friends and family to know, I will text them about. If it’s insanely important to my own growth, I’ll write about it here.

For a long time I thought I had to add every person I ever met on Facebook. I’ve learned in the past few years that it isn’t necessary. I have a little over 100 “friends”, and I still feel as though I have a social obligation to some of them. Others I have a genuine desire to have their presence, even if we haven’t seen each other in years; I enjoy the content they post. I enjoy having my closest friends and family to keep up with what they’re doing and to be able to post links and photos to share with them. But I realized I only want to be surrounded by those that I am comfortable around. I don’t want to compare myself to others anymore. I don’t need that right now while I’m doing so well.

I feel like Facebook is bragging ground. Am I playing into that when I post links to my writing? Maybe. But I’m not asking anyone to read it by posting it to my accounts. I don’t even need the validation of a comment or a like. I just want to share my thoughts and feelings from every part of my life; I want to be honest about the good and the bad during my journey. That’s why I wanted to blog: I want to share my life and my reactions to it.


Refocused on My Health

I didn’t want to write this today. Know that. But my intentions for writing it are not for typical “New Years Resolutions” reasons, so there’s that. It just happens to be written and posted on January 1st, which is a day when normal people set goals and such for themselves that they will keep up with for a month and then quit. I’m done quitting.

As most of you know, 2013 was the year I reached my highest weight of about 250 pounds. I don’t know my exact weight, because I couldn’t stand to weigh myself when I first began losing, But I know I was anywhere from 240-260 so let’s just split the difference and say 250. After gaining the More-Like-Freshman-Fifty, I came home from school in May and made a change; not just went on a diet, but began to make lifelong habit changes. In June, Shay Butler posted a video on his ShayLoss channel on YouTube about starting a five week challenge to get in shape. Because of this challenge, I became very close to a community of people like me who were wanting to make permanent changes. We became the Red Faced Warriors and they became a HUGE part of my 2013 year. Without them, I would not have lost the 50-ish pounds that I did. I would not have gained the inspiration and motivation that I did without this community. 
I did slack on exercise after the summer, I will admit that. But the eating habits have continued. But since October, I have done very little activity other than a few mile runs with my sister. I lost my mojo because I no longer had a goal like the Tower of Terror run. The run was over, so I stopped running. But I missed it. Like a lot. A few weeks ago, registration opened for the Expedition Everest Challenge in  May, and I convinced my sister to run it with me. This has given me a new goal and added motivation. From following running motivation on Tumblr and Instagram, I have a new vision for my 20th year and where I want to see myself. 
Runners World posted this article about setting running goals for the year, and I plan on keeping up with this. My goal as I said in a previous post is to run a half marathon in 2015. I have a year to train, and I know it is going to be a huge year. Making time to run is going to be hard as hell. I will want to sleep in, watch Netflix, go to the parks instead of run. But I have to. I have the DESIRE to run and be healthy, but the DOING is harder. But I never regret it once I’m out there. I want it to be a part of me. I want to feel confident saying “I’m a runner.” 
I want every one of these medals. I COVET these medals. These medals motivate me. I will have them all. But especially I want this one:
I want the Coast-To-Coast medal, meaning I have to run a half (or full!!) marathon at both Walt Disney World AND the Disneyland Resort in the same year. On top of this, I want the other challenge medals like the Dopey and Goofy Challenges. Of course, I want to run other races not just through RunDisney, but I set my mind to running in every RunDisney race, and that is a goal I will achieve. The full marathon will take some major determination that I just don’t have right now, but a half is doable. I did 10 miles in October! Even though my feet hurt so badly, I could see that a half could be feasible with better training. I guess I’ll say while I have no IMMEDIATE plans to run a full marathon, I’m not saying I never will. It’s just a lot to think about at my current level of running. 
On top of the Runner’s World article that is going to help me shape up my running this year, I also got Sean Sarantos’ ebook he wrote about health and nutrition and fitness. I’ve watched him on YouTube a lot recently (NOT just because he’s absolutely dreamy, but because I really do like the information he gives) and have learned a lot through his videos. He’s very good at encouraging people like me (not-fit, self-conscious-when-it-comes-to-the-gym women) to not compare ourselves to others. I like his weekly videos gear specifically toward women, and he’s constantly saying in his book and videos and twitter and everywhere else, that ANYONE can do the exercises he shows. He doesn’t dumb anything down, but explains things that many fitness people assume you know. I’m looking forward to trying out the plans in his ebook and hoping to grow from the experience. It’s not a formal book. He cusses and calls his readers “little birds” and it’s very much like a conversation between you and him. He explains his terms and I really appreciate the informality of the whole thing. 
He also tweeted me back. So it is inevitable that we are going to fall in love now. He grew up in San Antonio. So we have the whole “Native Texan” thing together. 
Of course, the next two weeks are NOT going to be healthy ones. I’m leaving Saturday to spend a week in the car and on a cruise ship. Then starts Disney training and work. Once I get to Florida, though, I WILL have healthy food in the apartment if nothing else. Even if I don’t get any running or weights in, I will have a good diet (Maybe not 100% but at least 85%). 
I know that with how busy I am going to be this year. But I’m ready for the challenge. Health IS challenging. But I’m going to plan ahead meals, and maybe have to wake up early to go run or wait to take a nap until after. But however  it happens, it’s going to happen. I’m GOING to lose the last 50 pounds and I’m GOING to run that half marathon. I’ve got a notebook that I want to use to write down a food journal, running times, other workouts, quotes, progress, etc. I will of course update my blog with this, but not as often. That’s why I want to use the notebook. (YES I know there are apps for that, but I’m old-fashioned enough to want to hand write it). 
I am also doing this #TeamRunDisney photo challenge for January. So follow my Instagram. 
I really hope anyone who reads this that might be feeling like I have: ready to get back at it, but haven’t for whatever reason, joins me this year to complete our goals that we started out with. Message me so we can help motivate each other! Sometimes you just need someone who is on a similar journey as you to keep you accountable and focused. I’m ready to be focused. 

It’s A Horrid Habit.

Must. Refrain. From. Picking. At. My. Fingernails.

It’s awful. I have the ugliest hands because I bite my nails until they bleed, and I pick and bite at the skin till THAT bleeds.

Isn’t picking at your skin like that some sign of anxiety or something mental? Because that’s encouraging. Obviously, Nina Sayers had problems with picking at her cuticles, and look where that got her. (For those of you who don’t get that reference, watch Black Swan. Fabulous film.)
According to the ever-reliable Wikipedia, “Skin picking often occurs as a result of some other triggering cause. Some common triggers are feeling or examining irregularities on the skin and feeling anxious or other negative feelings.”

But, Wikipedia also says, “In contrast to neurological theories, there are some psychologists who believe that picking behavior can be a result of repressed rage felt toward authoritarian parents.[2] A similar theory holds that overbearing parents can cause the behavior to develop in their children.” Which DEFINITELY doesn’t apply to me. That’s much more poor Nina. (Another Black Swan reference. Seriously. Watch it.)
Four Wiki pages later, I still don’t know why I do it. I’ve bitten my nails for as long as I can remember. Why am I telling you this? I don’t know. Cause it’s my blog. And also, because I’m trying to quit. Is there a patch for that? Some kind of gum? I’ve actually heard chewing gum can help. 

I do know that I don’t bite when I have acrylic nails. They’re too expensive to just bite off. That’s also why I don’t keep them on very long: they’re too expensive; the upkeep is crazy. I’m afraid I won’t take the time in Orlando to keep up with them, or have the money to. But I love having girl fingers. So, it’s The Struggle, and it’s real. 

What I would like to try and do is stop biting my nails, let the skin around them heal up enough, and get shellac done. Keep them pretty until I don’t have the need to destroy my fingers anymore. Then see what I do in Florida. Maybe my schedule won’t be TOO god-awful and I can have some mornings/early afternoons to set aside nail-time. Disney Look appropriate, of course.